The Little Orange Boy (Choosing Tears)

~ Anne Kolaczyk

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing
each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much
fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he
could see his mommy. And she was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work,
he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's
image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?" The little orange boy turned around. A lady was
standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The
little orange boy sighed and walked out of the water. "There's been a
mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the
water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming
back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy
climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked, he
started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it. "I'm afraid there
is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy knows it deep
down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But
she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever
said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All
he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how fast he was or how
big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose
tears."

"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. "Who would choose to
cry?"

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him
feel safe and loved and warm -- but he still cried about his mommy.

"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.
Cats--Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and
Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and Obie. Dogs
too--Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a
lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster
named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.
She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They
were lonesome and asked the angel to help them. The angel took them to a wall
of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of
things--dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you from
being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.

"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love
them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at
all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will
know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have
chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some
just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to
the Angel-in-Charge. "They know we love them," they told the angel.

"But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of
people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to love," the
angel told them.

So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have
chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped
loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will
have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side
and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and
dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones
hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy
Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system
operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Would they love us back?" another asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "You
will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were
and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the
animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a
warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems
malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little
bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought they
would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so
dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to
outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That
is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen
Tears," he whispered.

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and daddy
knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it
will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the
edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she ever
stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing
how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them
special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her
fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each
tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and shared
love. And the promise of love once again. As your mommy cries, she is healing.

"It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In
time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then
she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love
again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and
Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"
The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to
leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded.

"You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the
purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your
spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day
soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here
for when it's her turn to come."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look
at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she
had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.

"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced
over at the others, running and playing and laughing with the butterflies.

"Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."

Then he turned and raced after the others.